Boatload Chronicles

It's been about six weeks since Mom died. I'm getting better but I had another "moment" last night and again today when I received my sister's wedding invitation and saw Mom's name on it. I've been kind of dreading the arrival of the invitation for that very reason. They were made about a month before the surgery and no one ever dreamed that Mom would not be here. I feel so bad for Christina. And I really miss my mom. I always called her to tell her the silliest things. I bought a laundry hamper that had wheels while she was in the hospital and I kept thinking that I couldn't wait to tell her. I never did get to. I'm 23, married, and hoping to start my own family, but I still need my Mom.

Law school for Christopher is going well. He is absolutely loving it and I am going crazy listening to all these cases! It's cute and fun to see him all excited about what he's reading and sometimes it is fun to discuss the cases with him and insert my opinion (not that it matters).

Christopher bought me an Ovacue last week and I will start using it soon. It will help track my cycles and tell me the best time to get pregnant. Yeah, we're still trying. Unsuccessfully. But lately (since school started), I've been okay with not getting pregnant. We have no money to spare now, and I have no idea how we would provide for a baby. Who would keep the baby while I worked? Because I will have to work if C is still in school. How would we afford it all? But it would be nice to finally have our baby that we've been dreaming of for so long. I'm still not taking any meds and we are still trusting that God will bless us in His time. If His time is while C is still in school, than God will provide the means to provide for that baby.

So nothing new with me. We are going to LA tomorrow for a ladies' luncheon my parents' church is hosting in memory of Mom. I hope I can keep myself together.

posted by Rashell at 9:15 PM