Monday, August 14, 2006
My husband, Christopher, convinced me that I need to have my own blog, so here goes! He suggested this in the middle of last week when we were trying to figure out if we were pregnant or not. This trying to conceive thing is such a struggle! Sometimes, I feel worthless as a woman because one of the biggest things that defines me as woman (my reproductive system) does not seem to be working properly. I feel defective. But I have to keep reminding myself that God has a purpose for this struggle to have a baby, and He will bless us with a child in His time. I just wish I didn't have to wait for God's time. I wish His time were now. Well, who am I to say that it's not now? I may be pregnant right now. I have no idea. I am either pregnant or my body has found another way to screw up. We'll see. If something doesn't happen this week, then I plan to test again on Saturday. I've tested twice now: Thursday the 10th and Friday the 11th. They both came out negative, but I may have tested too early. I was hoping for a positive on Thursday because it was my brother-in-law JJ's birthday, and I wanted to tell him that he'd be an uncle soon. And I had a doctor's appointment the next day where they tested me. Well, we'll see what happens.

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